Divorce is hard, and getting a divorce when you have kids is even harder. You want to do everything you can to minimize their stress and make this time of transition as smooth as possible for them. There are many ways you can shield your children from any of the specifics of your divorce. If you are in the midst of a contentious divorce, keep these tips in mind when it comes to doing what’s best for your children.
Keep The Specifics of Your Divorce Off Social Media
Things can get heated during a divorce. You may be tempted to air out your grievances on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media platform, but even if your kids don’t have access to social media accounts, their friends might and their parents certainly could. You might think they’re shielded but this information can get back to them in unexpected ways, so be cognizant of what you post online.
Don’t Badmouth Your Spouse in Front of Your Kids
You may be angry and hurt about what’s happening, but that doesn’t mean you should speak negatively about your child’s other parent to them. It isn’t helpful to your child to alienate them from their parent, whether you are doing it intentionally or not. Avoid having conversations with your spouse about the divorce in front of your children. Even if they don’t fully understand the specifics of what you’re saying, they can easily pick up on any negative tones or emotions.
Don’t Make Your Kids Your Confidants
Just as you shouldn’t badmouth your spouse in front of your kids, you should also avoid turning them into your primary confidants while going through a divorce. It’s understandable that you may want to vent or express your emotions in this trying time, but children are simply not emotionally equipped to take on this role. Instead, talk to a close friend, family member, or therapist who can offer you an ear to express positive or negative emotions without repercussions.
Include a “Non-Disparagement” Clause in Your Settlement Agreement
This ties nicely into the two previous tips. Including a “non-disparagement” clause in your settlement agreement encourages both parties to avoid any demeaning or disparaging talk about the other. Including this clause on a legal document can be an extra push for both sides to avoid speaking badly about the other in front of anyone, including their children.
Avoid Long Drawn Out Litigation with Divorce Mediation
Traditional divorce cases are assumed to be long and drawn out, eating up lots of your time and money. Many divorces can take a year or more to reach their conclusion, while an experienced NJ divorce mediator can speed that process up to only a few months. You’ll also save money by not needing to hire lawyers for both parties. Instead, the mediator will guide you towards making each decision on your own.